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Greg Proops Biography

Gregory Everett "Greg" Proops (born October 3, 1959) is an American actor, stand-up comedian and television host. He is widely known for his work as an improvisational comedian on the UK and U.S. versions of Whose Line Is It Anyway? He also performed on Drew Carey's Green Screen Show and voiced the title character on the animated children's show, Bob the Builder's Project Build It, from 2005–2009.

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Greg Proops Quotes

You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

Breathe, Fact, Facts, Ironic, Smoke

I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one. . . . And I am proud.

Glasses, Know Me, Proud, Wear

It doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are, there was always someone who thought you were cool.

Asshole, Cool, Matter, Thought

I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.

Drunk, Extremely, Home, People

My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.

Animal, Eat, Feelings, Ran, Years

I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the. . . general area.

Awards, Drew, Glasses, Guy, Kings

People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.

Believe, Look, Looks, Noticed, People

And eat lots of mints, it fools the cops.

Cop, Eat, Fool, Fools, Lots, Mint

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

Ice Cream, Occasions, Selling, Two, White

I like to go to England, and I'll tell you why. I like to go to a country where I am considered the best-looking person. It's as simple as that. Hollywood, kind of a crushing ego blow - 'Hey Buddy Holly, you are so old, have you not perished in a plane crash?' But not in England, good God, not there. In England, God bless that dinky island, there it's, 'Good God, look at him. He has all his teeth and his ears are in proportion to his head. ' I'm Brad bloody Pitt on that island.

Blow, Brad, Country, Crush, Island, Simple

I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.

College, Joined, School, Skills

I don't come on to seduce the audience. I don't care if everyone laughs. I can't think about that anymore. If there's anything that a lot of experience on stage and a lot of stage time gives you is the confidence to know that it's ok if they're not laughing every second you're up there. Although that's what drives me and I still go too fast a lot of the time.

Come, Confidence, Drives, Giving, Laughs, Thinking

You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?

Bar, Chiefest, Drinking, Growing Up, Know, Sex

Animals have two vital functions in today's society; to be delicious and to fit well.

Animal, Animals, Functions, Today'S Society, Two, Vital

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading. Nobody does it so why talk about it?

Like, Reading, Sex, Talk, Talking

I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.

Horizontal, Knowledge, Old, Strictly

Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.

Gentleman, Gentlemen, Gilbert, Ladies, Ladies And Gentlemen, Say

Contact lenses are for vain, weak-willed piglets who swan around showing off: 'Look everybody, I can see without spectacles. No one at first glance will ever assume I know how to surf the net. '

Firsts, Look, Piglet, Piglets, Surf, Swans

If you have a funny costume, you can't really wear it when you get older.

Costume, Costumes, Funny, Ifs, Older, Wear

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

Animal, Love, Split, Splits, Want, Whole

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