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Patrick Califia Biography

Pat Califia (born 1954, formerly also known by the last name Califia-Rice) is an American writer of non-fiction essays about sexuality and of erotic fiction and poetry. Califia is a bisexual trans man. Prior to transitioning, he identified as a lesbian and as such, wrote for many years a sex advice column for the gay men's leather magazine Drummer. His writings explore sexuality and gender identity, and have included lesbian erotica and works about BDSM subculture. Califia is a member of the third-wave feminism movement.

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Patrick Califia Quotes

Boy lovers and the lesbians who have young lovers. . . are not child molesters. The child abusers are priests, teachers, therapists, cops and parents who force their staid morality onto the young people in their custody.

Boy, Christian, Priests, Religious, Staid, Teacher

By coming out to ourselves, we free up the energy we spent keeping a part of ourselves hidden.

Coming Out, Energy, Free, Part, Spent

When you're hurting another person, past a certain point you're cracking them open and whatever's inside them gets all over you. So you should kinda check out whether you want that to happen.

Hurt, Past, Over You, Cracking, Certain, Open

If you live in a society that wishes you didn't exist, anything you do to make yourself happy disrupts its attempts to wipe you out, or at the very least, make you invisible.

Wish, Wipe, Invisible, Wishes, Attempts

The scars are a way of reminding me that the past is real. They are honorable.

Real, Past, Way, Honorable, Scars

This is one of the reasons we need to transition: people can't validate an identity they can't see.

Identity, People, Reasons, Transition, Validate

Responsibility without power is a really bad deal.

Responsibility, Deals, Bad, Power, Deal

As an activist, you gotta pick something that's particularly interesting to you and go for it - because there's no shortage of things to do. And it's sort of a long-term commitment. Activism is for life.

Commitment, Long, Interesting, Shortage, Things

A lot of people who are depressed, I think, are suffering from blocked creativity.

Creativity, Thinking, People, Suffering, Blocked

Why do I write? I write because I have to, because it is all I know, because it is my truth, because I am compelled, because I am driven to make the world acknowledge that women like me exist, and we possess a dangerous wisdom.

Know, Make, Truth Is, Wisdom, World, Writing

SM is an art. Doing it well requires more than a bag full of expensive whips and exotic electrical toys, a closet full of fetish clothes, or a basement filled with bondage furniture.

Art, Bag, Basement, Clothes, Exotic, Furniture

When it comes to your inner critic, my advice is to not take advice from someone who doesn't like you. That's like returning to the perpetrator for healing after you've been abused.

Healing, Advice, Like You, Inner, Perpetrator

Prejudice usually can't survive close contact with the people who are supposed to be so despicable, which is why the propagandists for hate always preach separation.

Close, Hate, People, Preach, Prejudice

If your relationship with someone is based on your desire for them to change into something radically different, there's no real closeness there, no real communication.

Communication, Desire, Different, Real, Relationship