Quentin Crisp (born Denis Charles Pratt; (1908-12-25)25 December 1908 – (1999-11-21)21 November 1999) was an English writer, raconteur and actor.
Many [hooligans] discover to their shame that they have scruples; they have roots and, greatest disadvantage of all, they have hope. The fathers superior of the order do not try to influence their children in Satan; they merely shake their heads in sorrow. They know that the apostate must work out his own damnation.
It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
Fashion is a way of not having to decide who you are. Style is deciding who you are and being able to perpetuate it.
Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.
The rest of the world in which I lived was still stumbling about in search of a weapon with which to exterminate this monster [homosexuality] whose shape and size were not yet known or even guessed at. It was thought to be Greek in origin, smaller than socialism but more deadly, especially to children.
Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
I've come from a very masculine country to a feminine country. England was very masculine; people went from England to abroad, and they landed from above and they said "These are the gods you will worship, these are the crops you will grow, now go away and do it. " Which is a manly attitude. Americans go abroad and they say, "Try not to quarrel so much", which is a feminine attitude.
Muddled syntax is the outward and audible sign of confused minds, and the misuse of grammar the result of illogical thinking.
The absolute nothingness of death is a blessing. Something to look forward to.
I found that I had become so spinsterish that I was made neurotic not only by my life of domesticity but by the slightest derangement of my room. I would burst into a fit of weeping if the kettle was not facing due east.
One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
I am told that you regret not what you did but what you didn't do; and so that's why I do everything, so as not to have any regrets.
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
It is true that in America I've become a national hero, but really I was a hopeless case, that was all.
Assoon as I stepped out of my mother's womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, "I wish you hadn't made every line funny. It's so depressing. "
Nearly always when actors are approached by the beauticians, they try to avoid the dabs that the beauticians put on their faces. They dodge them.