Red Buttons (born Aaron Chwatt; February 5, 1919 – July 13, 2006) was an American comedian and actor. He won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for Sayonara (1957).
Michelangelo's girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint - let's put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!
Sonny Von Bulow, who said to her husband Claus on their honeymoon, Stop needling me. Never got a dinner!
Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!
Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner!
Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E. T. , I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!
Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!
Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!
Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!
If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!
Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?
Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.
Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!
Nostradamus, who predicted that Billy Bailey would not come home. Never got a dinner!
Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank? Never got a dinner!
Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!
The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!
Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner!
Vincent Van Gogh, who said to the hat salesman, I like it, but it keeps sliding over my ear. Never got a dinner!
E. T. , who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!