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Life is real, reality is not a dream. Those who chose to sleep. . . I wake em up, Cause you're sleepin with your mouth open hummin deez nuts.

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Woody Allen

If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.

Depends, Goal, Life, Life Is, Showing, Showing Up
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Inspirational, Inspiring, Percent, Positive, Showing, Success

Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.

Action, Class, File, God, Jobs, Terrible

Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.

Afternoon, Kissed, Never Been Kissed, Parisian, Rainy

Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.

Beautiful, Funny, Like, Love, Reincarnation

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

Continue, Errors, Funny, Keyboard, Life, Press
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