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Titles are marks of honest men, and wise; The fool or knave that wears a title lies.

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Andy Kindler

I actually performed at an orthodox Jewish wedding, where the men were separated from the women, but they both came together to not enjoy what I was talking about.

Enjoy, Men, Orthodox, Talking, Together
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People are trying so hard to become famous. Johnny Marbles, he tried to throw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face. What do I gotta do, give Sumner Redstone a wedgie?

Face, Giving, People, Pie, Rupert, Sumner

Maybe Bill Maher should just practice his monologue a few times before the show, so he wouldn't find it so hilarious. But I kid the asshole.

Bill, Bills, Kids, Maher, Practice, Times

I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.

Believe, Book, Comedian, Introduction, Vhs

Ever since I've switched to the clean syringes, I've never felt better in my entire life.

Clean, Entire, Felt, Switched, Syringes

I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.

Acting, Character, Constant, Jobs
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