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I'm gonna try to talk about this in a secular way, but where's the spirituality of just being a person? I think it contributes to this rise in bad manners and mean comments; people are being driven by seeking something that's just designed to keep them seeking something. I'm not reducing people in this age to phone-addicted dum-dums, but we have to remind ourselves to also study compassion and inner life as well.

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Dave Barry

Advice to expectant mothers: you must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must remember that the other one of you is about the size of a golf ball, so let's not go overboard with it. I mean, a lot of pregnant women eat as though the other person they're eating for is Orson Welles.

Golf, Mean, Mother, Person, Remember, Though
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Ark, Education, Lone, Professionals, Trying

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth grade where you put a nail into a glass of Coke and after a couple of days the nail dissolves and the teacher says: Imagine what it does to your TEETH! So Coca-Cola was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to improve.

Couple, Glass, Humorous, Question, Saw, Teacher

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter.

120, Animal, Cow, Fastest, Mph, Science

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Actual, Children, Inspirational, Parent, Perfect, Perfect Parents

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

Brain, Chocolate, Hands, Mouth, Years, Yummy
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