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Some goals you just never really think about trying to achieve because they just seem so out of reach.

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Michael Showalter

I don't audition for "on-air" commercials - the ones where your face can be seen. I've auditioned for voiceover campaigns that I haven't gotten, but I don't really want to be seen in a commercial unless it's a product that I really love. Like, if Adidas asked me, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I did a Reebok commercial, one for Pep Boys, one for Dunkin' Donuts. I auditioned for commercials, but I really couldn't stomach it. It just didn't feel right.

Auditioned, Boys, Commercial, Heartbeat, Unless, Your Face
Same Author Quotes

Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

Car, Classical, Comedy, Maybe, Tree

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

Comedy, Different, Like, Trying, Types

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Behavior, Cat, Time, Unpredictable, Window

I feel like marriage is a sacred institution that should only be between a man and a woman. If a gay couple wants to be married, why can't they just be satisfied with a civil union? Why do they have to get "married"?

Couple, Gay, Like, Marriage, Men

I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke completely at someone else's expense. Even though I think he does it better than anyone else, I don't love. . . Well, it's different with Sacha Baron Cohen, but that whole thing where you're "punking" people? I don't like that. I don't like doing it, and I don't particularly find it funny when the joke is on a person who doesn't know they're being set up.

Different, Making, Particularly, People, Sacha, Thinking
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