Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add. - Fran Lebowitz

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Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.

Fran Lebowitz

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Children, Discussing, Humorous, Sex

Same Author Quotes

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

Consequence, History, House, Leaving, Natural, Offended

People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of attention) have often been likened to snowflakes. This analogy is meant to suggest that each is unique - no two alike. This is quite patently not the case. People, even at the current rate of inflation - in fact, people especially at the current rate of inflation - are quite simply a dime a dozen. And, I hasten to add, their only similarity to snowflakes resides in their invariably and lamentable tendency to turn, after a few warm days, to slush.

Amount, Opinion, People, Simply, Two, Unique

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Animal, Dog, Owner, Silly, Suggest, Wear

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Happiness, Hear, Inspirational, Life, Motivational, Teenager

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

Consciousness, Drug, Drugs, Unnecessary

Similar Quotes

Christopher Bond

Remember, we know the end of the story of World War II and the Cold War. But day by day, living in fear of the Nazis and then in fear of the Soviets, the outcome was by no means certain.

Certain, Fear, Mean, Nazis, Stories, War

Daniel Handler

Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake.

Cake, Glass, Glasses, Order, Wishing

Margaret Mead

An ideal culture is one that makes a place for every human gift

Culture, Humans, Ideals, Human, Ideal, Place

Greg Giraldo

Bottom, Comedian, Crowds, Lines, Material, Opened

Henry Fielding

Perhaps the summary of good-breeding may be reduced to this rule. "Behave unto all men as you would they should behave unto you. " This will most certainly oblige us to treat all mankind with the utmost civility and respect, there being nothing that we desire more than to be treated so by them.

Desire, Mankind, May, Men, Nothing, Oblige