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I say salvation is the free gift of God. It is God's free grace, I preach unto you, not of works, lest anyone should boast. Jesus Christ justifies the ungodly. Jesus Christ passed by and saw you polluted with your blood and bid you live.

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Woody Allen

When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.

Dead, Hard, Light, Switch
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Inspirational, Inspiring, Percent, Positive, Showing, Success

Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.

Action, Class, File, God, Jobs, Terrible

Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.

Afternoon, Kissed, Never Been Kissed, Parisian, Rainy

Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.

Beautiful, Funny, Like, Love, Reincarnation

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

Continue, Errors, Funny, Keyboard, Life, Press
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