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Sometimes God does something dramatic to get our attention. That's what happened to me in 1975. My family and I were enjoying the peace and quiet of a borrowed cabin in the Colorado Rockies. I was stretched out on a lounge chair in the midday warmth, praying and thinking. I was considering how we Christians - not just the mission I was part of, but all of us - could turn the world around for Jesus.

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Harold Brodkey

Death is not soft-mouthed, vague-footed, nearby. It is in the hall.

Death, Hall, Halls, Nearby, Vague
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Death and I are head to head in a total collision, pure and mutual distaste.

Collision, Distaste, Mutual, Pure, Total

Being ill like this combines shock - this time I will die - with a pain and agony that are unfamiliar, that wrench me out of myself.

Agony, Combines, Die, Pain, Shock, Wrench

I am in an adolescence in reverse, as mysterious as the first, except that this time I feel it as a decay of the odds that I might live for a while, that I can sleep it off.

Adolescence, Decay, Odds, Reverse, Sleep, Time

I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time's chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred.

Way, Metamorphosis, Young, Sickened, Funny

I can't change the past, and I don't think I would. I don't expect to be understood. I like what I've written, the stories and two novels. If I had to give up what I've written in order to be clear of this disease, I wouldn't do it.

Expect, Give, Giving Up, Like, Past, Thinking
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