I've begun to think that we sit far more than we're supposed to. . . Why else would we have feet?
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting.
Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
We strive toward knowledge, always more knowledge, but must understand that we are, and will remain, surrounded by mystery.
Her eyes are homes of silent prayers.
Can't India dream of exporting teachers of high calibre? Can't we instil the desire in children to become great teachers?
Most men are of naught more use in their lives but as machines for turning food into sh*t.