I certainly made mistakes.
I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Some might say that it's easier to be the runner than the runner's family.
I like when people are very passionate about what they want to write about. Even if it's silly, you can be very passionate about it.
When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
I know it is the fashion to say that most of recorded history is lies anyway. I am willing to believe that history is for the most part inaccurate and biased, but what is peculiar to our own age is the abandonment of the idea that history could be truthfully written.