I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.
Wouldn't it be dreadful to live in a country where they didn't have tea?
A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.
It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.
Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.
Work is much more fun than fun.
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you.
I believe that He was made man, joining the human nature with the divine in one person; being conceived by the singular operation of the Holy Ghost, and born of the blessed Virgin Mary, who, as well after as before she brought Him forth, continued a pure and unspotted virgin.
I dont know about Brad Pitt leaving that beautiful woman to go hold orphans for Angelina. I mean how long is that going to last?
My understanding of Twitter was that it was a bunch of famous people telling you when they're going to the bathroom. And, that was not something I wanted to be part of.