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As a warning to parents, I mention that my father preferred me to my brother, which was very injurious to both of us. To me, as tending to produce in my mind a feeling of self-elevation; and to my brother, by creating in him a dislike both towards my father and me.

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Sam Ewing

I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.

Adjusted, Figure, Income, Matter, Trying
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Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

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It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

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When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.

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If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.

Dollars, Insult, Persons, Probably, See

If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.

Eat, Fats, Ifs, Improved, Light
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