Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U. S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has … - Jay Leno

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I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.

Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U. S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has been married three times, had an affair with his chief of staff, had two kids with her while still married to his second wife. This is the first time in history that a Clinton is the 'family values' candidate.

Running, Kids, Two, Chief, Against

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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D. C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

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Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.

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Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

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Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.

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A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth. Today he was offered a job as President Obama's economic adviser.

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