If I could email my jokes to the crowd and get the same immediate response [as during stand-up], I'd do that.
Honestly, among my acquaintances there is no woman wearing XS.
It doesn't matter how old you are, or what you do in your life, you never stop needing your mom.
I look like people that walk down the street. I don't have perfect boobs, I don't have zero cellulite - of course I don't - and I'm curvy. If that is something that makes women feel empowered in any way, that's great.
Femininity for me means happiness and freedom. . . freedom of being who you are in whatever shape or size you come in.
Ultimately, you just have one life. You never know unless you try. And you never get anywhere unless you ask.
If being crazy means living life as if it matters, then I don't mind being completely insane.
As you allow the beloved to grow within you, you will discover a steadfastness to the spiritual journey.
When a Lackey comes to hells doore, the devills locke the gates.
I calculate that I was responsible for proposing the elevation to the Lords of some 214 of its present numbers.
How could you not know?" His voice was full of wonderment. "You changed me utterly. You were like a. . . like a bright, wonderful bloom in a garden full of weeds. Like a graceful capital on a page of plain script, a letter decorated with the deepest, finest colors in all Erin. Like a flame, Caitrin. Like a song.