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A man who can laugh at himself is truly blessed, for he will never lack for amusement.

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Charles D'Ambrosio

My instinct tells me "purpose" is maybe the enemy of a good personal essay. In my own experience, I'm always lost and wandering and searching - where am I? how'd I get in this mess? what's the point? - right through to the final draft, and sometimes even beyond that - baffled and defeated still, confused as to purpose long after the thing's in print. I never really have a guiding purpose or a point, not at the outset, anyway. It's like life: It's all discovered en route.

Confused, Enemy, Long, Mess, Purpose
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Where exactly do you put your hands on somebody who hurts everywhere?

Chaos, Hands, Hurt, Hurts, Somebody

We need to be ambivalent - in the essay, and in life too. Ambivalence - having mixed feelings, entertaining contradiction, living with fluctuation - is a widened embrace. It's about the coexistence of things, and in that light, we have no choice in the matter.

Choices, Coexistence, Contradiction, Feelings, Fluctuation, Living

What the nostalgic past and the imaginary future seem to share in common is a form of idealism, perhaps a dream of wholeness. Our future is just as goopy with sentiment as our past. To me, they're the same, both very tempting, and I don't believe in either, although the idealism is probably important.

Believe, Dream, Imaginary, Nostalgic, Past, Wholeness

Our nostalgic dreams of perfection thrive just as dangerously in the other direction too, in the imaginary future, that bold and tantalizing future where the troubles of today will be cured by a tomorrow, and all our losses will be recouped, our problems solved, our lives restored, our people made whole again, etc.

Dream, Dreams, Loss, Nostalgic, People, Thrive

I have lots of fiction in the drawer, but the essays I mostly kick out into the world, ready or not. Fiction incubates differently, I suppose.

Differently, Drawer, Essays, Kick, Lots, World
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