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It is the secret life that sustains me now, and as I reach the top of that bridge I say it in a whisper, I say it as a prayer, as regret, and as praise. I can't tell you why I do it or what it means, but each night when I drive toward my southern home and my southern life, I whisper these words: 'Lowenstein, Lowenstein.

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Dane Cook

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Drinking, Drunk, Fare, Taxi Cabs, Thinking, Time
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I'm interested in doing anything and everything that I can to squeeze the creativity out of my brain. I guess I'm kind of a performance rat, that's what I want to do, I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. I just love putting creativity into a performance.

Brain, Creativity, Guess, Love Is, Squeeze

Some people have constipation of the brain but their mouth has the runs.

Brain, Constipation, People, Running, Runs

Comedy crowds - we always want to come out and ask you, 'How you feeling?' We always say that, 'By a round of applause, how do you feel?' Right? 'By a round of applause, how you feeling?' It's the only place in the world that you judge how you're feeling by a round of applause. . . There's never like a car accident, people all over the ground, people running over - 'Ma'am! Ma'am! By a round of applause, how do you feel? By a round of applause - she's not clapping!

Ask, Car, Judging, Round, Running

You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole.

Accept, Acceptance, Action, Loophole, Responsibility, Transactions

It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.

Falling In Love, Feelings, Incredible, Incredibles, Know, Love
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