This is a photograph of me as I wish I looked all the time. Then I might have a chance of getting in Hollywood.
Lampoon was exactly the opposite. The work was a lot of fun, but the office environment was hell. You cannot put 20 humorists together.
Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race
There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you please, without causing others harm. With it comes our only basic human duty: the duty to accept the consequences of our actions.
Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about.
There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself.
You read [Bill ] Maher's book, and he didn't take Econ 101. All his arguments about gasoline, it's not that they're right or wrong - they're just not informed.
It is useless to advise solitude for everyone; one must be strong enough to endure it and to work alone.
Destiny is the music of the improbable. Were it otherwise, almost anyone could exist.
The second assault on Fallujah was a monument to brutality and atrocity made in the United States of America. Like the Spanish city of Guernica during the 1930s, and Grozny in the 1990s Fallujah is our monument of excess and overkill.
Owning the Yankees is like owning the Mona Lisa.