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Most of the theater I've done in the past was when I was a kid or a teenager so it feels like being a kid again. I'm happier than I've ever been. You really get to go to work every day and play, and try different things. I don't know, I've never felt so lucky to do this job. So I hope to do a lot more theater.

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Jim Bouton

We were like farm animals compared to today's players who are treated like thoroughbreds.

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You spend a good deal of your life gripping a baseball, and it turns out it was the other way around all the time.

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Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

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It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don't mean it.

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Jim Pagliaroni joined the club tonight and is going to be a welcome addition. He was describing a girl that one of the ballplayers had been out with and said, “It's hard to say exactly what she looked like. She was kind of Joe Torre with tits. ” This joke can only be explained with a picture of Joe Torre. But I'm not sure any exist. He dissolves camera lenses.

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For a hundred years, the owners screwed the players. For 25 years, the players have screwed the owners-they've got 75 years to go.

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