Failure builds muscle, determination, and dreams.
I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.
I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog
First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.
The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.
I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
I think I suffer from some mild depression.
At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.
I couldn't relate to kid stuff. 'Jimmy doesn't like me!' Who cares? I was worried we didn't have gas money or food. Those were my concerns.
All nature wears one universal grin.
I've learned that some memories surprise you and reveal a sharp edge just when you least expect it.