Everyone in my life thinks I'm competitive because I want to win, but it comes from me wanting everyone to have a good time. And when I see that people aren't enthused, I try to make it really uncomfortable for everyone so they get enthused and want to play hard.
Don't make it sound like that. Like some ordinary sort of grief. It's not like that. They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite. Over. This is a fresh wound every day.