Master Seneca says that 'No one can wear a mask for very long. ' This is true; but someone can wear different masks for very long!
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.
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I really don't feel good about leaving my house anymore. I don't feel really good about being anywhere in New York City alone anymore.
It must be that there is something in the hearts of human beings, some natural fluid perhaps, that insists on happiness, even confronted with the most powerful arguments against it.
A preschool child does not emerge from your toddler on a given date or birthday. He becomes a child when he ceases to be a wayward, confusing, unpredictable and often balky person-in-the- making, and becomes a comparatively cooperative, eager-and-easy-to-please real human being--at least 60 per cent of the time.
My laboratory,' I said, experimentally, drawing out each syllable. 'Why is it that saying it like that always makes me want to follow it with 'mwoo-hah-hah-hahhhhh'? ' 'You were overexposed to Hammer Films as a child?' - Harry Dresden & Bob the Skull, Changes, Jim Butcher