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If I was gay, there would be no closet. You would never see the closet I came out of. Why? Because I'd have burned it for kindling by the time I was twelve. . . If I was gay, at this stage of the game?age 37, aging alternative icon?I'd be taking out ads.

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Alexei Sayle

I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes.

Friend, Make, Nice, Pretending, Summer, Winter
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First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.

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But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.

Belief, Cults, Elimination, Nuance, Party, Slowly

I don't think I'd ever get thin, but I don't see why I should necessarily think that I couldn't You can't live your life for your routines.

Live Your Life, See, Should, Thin, Think, Thinking

I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time, but people who meet me are soon disabused of that notion.

Common, Idea, Ideas, Jokes, People, Suppose

I like the south of Spain, notably for the Moorish influence and the weather.

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