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We all take Mother's Day seriously and then it's like a month later, a bunch of kids get together and say, "I guess we should do this for the old man, too. " Father Day's is weird. It's like celebrating Darth Vader's birthday. It's odd I think. Even the gifts we give dads. Like neckties, which are just like a silk noose. Or books. Would you ever want someone from another generation to give you a book?

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Donald Trump

President [Vladimir] Putin called me up nicely to congratulate me on the winning of the election and called me up completely nicely to congratulate me on the inauguration, which was terrific, but so did many other leaders, almost all other leaders from almost all other countries.

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