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She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along.

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Jenny Lawson

Pretty much everyone hates high school. It's a measure of your humanity, I suspect. If you enjoyed high school, you were probably a psychopath or a cheerleader. Or possibly both. Those things aren't mutually exclusive, you know. I've tried to block out the memory of my high school years, but no matter how hard you try, it's always with you, like an unwanted hitchhiker. Or herpes. I assume.

Assume, Block, Exclusive, Hate, Matter, Memories
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Every time I get scared or feel like I'm not going to be good enough at something, I say that mantra to myself. "Pretend you're good at it. "

Be Good, Good, Good Enough, Pretend, Scared, Time

Because you are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. And because there is joy in embracing - rather than running from - the utter absurdity of life.

Absurdity Of Life, Imperfect, Joy, Running, Utter

One moment I'm perfectly fine and the next I feel a wave of nausea, then panic. Then I can't catch my breath and I know I'm about to lose control and all I want to do is escape. Except that the one thing I can't escape from is the very thing I want to run away from. . . me.

Know, Nausea, Panic, Running, Want, Wave

When I was young, my family didn't go on outings to the circus or trips to Disneyland. We couldn't afford them. Instead, we stayed in our small rural West Texas town, and my parents took us to cemeteries.

Circus, Disneyland, Goes On, Parent, Small, Texas

The first thing I do when I come home is check the refrigerator for cats because I'm convinced that if one dies, my husband will hide it in there because I don't cook and so I won't see it. I do drink Cokes, though ,so technically he should hide the corpse in the oven. And now I need to start checking the oven.

Cat, Cats, Home, Husband, Refrigerator, Start
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