You are excrement. You can change yourself into gold.
When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.
At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.
Your dreams should never be better than your real life
They've found this spider, in the jungle. Three foot long, it eats chicken. Bit weird, innit. People moan saying that you shouldn't lock animals up and all the rest of it, but to be honest I wish it was locked up. The idea that it's roaming in a jungle. . . get it locked up.
If you’re not happy looking a knob in the face, there’s something wrong.
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China. '
Innocents, the meat in a ghastly sandwich between an uncaring society and a vengeful state.
We will pursue them until they lose their nerves. . . Now that they have indulged in their evil and crimes, they will suffer a defeat.
You shouldn't end a band like Westlife and not be financially secure to some extent, but I wasn't at all - it was the complete opposite. But you look at stuff then, 'Well, what do I have? I don't have money but I have a great marriage, three healthy kids, and I have my voice. I'll just start again. '
Nature's great masterpiece, an elephant; the only harmless great thing.