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Your novels show only the tiniest fraction of detective work, the brilliant crime, the tantalizing clues, the dramatic chase, the final battle atop a lofty peak with ocean waves crashing down below, and then… justice served! If they wrote about the real world, four-fifths of the story would consist of the hero sitting in a library for months and following false leads.

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Ed Helms

I cannot stress this enough - if you try to install an HDTV in a non-HDTV compatible house, you may tear the space-time continuum.

House, Space, Stress, Tear
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April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

Accountant, Advice, Bags, Given, Giving, Hundreds

You are literally too stupid to insult.

Hangover, Insult, Literally, Stupid

When you're playing a fictional character reacting to the real world, it's incredibly difficult and confusing and kind of messes with your values a bit.

Character, Confusing, Kind, Messes, Real

I didn't mention the tooth thing to anyone until it became clear that. . . we started to discuss just taking it out of the movie [The Hangover] because we couldn't find anything that worked and they couldn't afford to do a full like digital effect. So that's when I called my dentist and it worked out.

Digital, Hangover, Like, Taking, Teeth, Tooth

There are currently more political parties in Iraq than unbombed buildings to hold them.

Buildings, Iraq, Party, Political, Unbombed
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