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I'm not a movie star. I'm a brand name. Van Damme is like Levi's. I go on vacation, and everywhere I go, people love me for my name, not for my movies.

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James Thurber

I can feel a thing I cannot touch and touch a thing I cannot feel. The first is sad and sorry, the second is your heart.

Firsts, Heart, Sad, Sorry, Thing
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Two is company, four is a party, three is a crowd. One is a wanderer.

Four, Party, Three, Two

We are a nation that has always gone in for the loud laugh, the wow, the yak, the belly laugh, and the dozen other labels for the roll- em-in-the-aisles gagerissimo. This is the kind of laugh that delights actors, directors, and producers, but dismays writers of comedy because it is the laugh that often dies in the lobby. The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.

Gone, Home, Laughter, Success, War, Warmth

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

Animal, Dog, Heaven, Immortality, Known, Nature

Let me be the first to admit that the naked truth about me is to the naked truth about Salvador Dali as an old ukulele in the attic is to a piano in a tree, and I mean a piano with breasts. Senor Dali has the jump on me from the beginning. He remembers and describes in detail what it was like in the womb. My own earliest memory is of accompanying my father to a polling booth in Columbus, Ohio, where he voted for William McKinley.

Accompanying, Admit, Father, Mean, Memories, Remembers

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

Beer, Drinking, Enough, Right, Three, Two
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