Where do you need to think for yourself? When we begin to cultivate awareness of our thoughts and emotions, we begin to see just how much we live according to other people's and society's beliefs and actions. Don't get upset by this. Just get in touch with how you really think and feel inside and begin to express your authenticity.
I think that you're just as close to Jesus if you use the equipment he gave you other than to call on him to do for you what you can do for yourself.