My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Same topic Authors

Quote of the day

You may go on reading any number of books on Meditation. They can only tell you ‘Realize the Self’. The Self cannot be found in books. You have to find it for yourself in yourself.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.

Begs, Dog, Wife, Worst

Same Author Quotes

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Beauty, Crazy, Funny, Okay, Told

We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

Dead, Dog, Play, Roll, Wife

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Finger, Know, Mouths, Sticks, Ugly

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Funny, Kid, Moved, Moving, Parents, Pregnancy

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

Cook, Dental Floss, Floss, Kitchen, Roaches, Wife

Similar Quotes

Sigmund Freud

Cigars served me for precisely fifty years as protection and a weapon in the combat of life. . . I owe to the cigar a great intensification of my capacity to work and a facilitation of my self-control.

Facilitation, Fifty, Intensification, Precisely, Self, Years

Karl Lehmann

For the future, I would suggest avoiding subjects of too vast a scale. It would be useful to make out a list of fundamental questions on the matter to be dealt with, and discuss only those.

Dealt, Discuss, Fundamentals, Matter, Vast, Would Be

Thelonious Monk

Those who want to know what sound goes into my music should come to NY and open their ears.

Come, Ears, Music, Sound, Want

Ramana Maharshi

You may go on reading any number of books on Meditation. They can only tell you ‘Realize the Self’. The Self cannot be found in books. You have to find it for yourself in yourself.

Book, Meditation, Reading, Realize, Self, Tell

Byron Katie

As long as we believe our thoughts, there will always be war.

Believe, Long, Thoughts, War