If the gospel is old news to you, it will be dull news to everyone else.
Almost all women have hearts full of pity.
Women are jealous of cigars. . . they regard them as a strong rival.
A fool can no more see his own folly than he can see his ears.
At that comfortable tavern on Pontchartrain we had a bouillabaisse than which a better was never eaten at Marseilles; and not the least headache in the morning, I give you my word; on the contrary, you only wake with a sweet refreshing thirst for claret and water.
The world is good natured to people who are good natured.
There are many sham diamonds in this life which pass for real, and vice versa.
Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory
A monk's extraordinary patience can be a hindrance to desperate decision-making.
Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It's so fun, and it's given me the oppor-tunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn't believe it was happening.
The best way not to find the bed too cold is to go to bed colder than the bed is.