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Because it's magic, this place. . . beautiful. And you're beautiful. . . beautifully separate. It all fits.

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Lewis B. Smedes

I worry about fast forgivers. They tend to forgive quickly in order to avoid their pain. Or they forgive fast in order to get an advantage over the people they forgive. And their instant forgiving only makes things worse. . . People who have been wronged badly and wounded deeply should give themselves time and space before they forgive. . . There is a right moment to forgive. We cannot predict it in advance; we can only get ourselves ready for it when it arrives. . . Don't do it quickly, but don't wait too long.

Forgiveness, Pain, Space, Worry, Wronged
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Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.

Broken Heart, Erase, Forgiveness, Heartbroken, Hope, Remember

When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself.

Cut, Freedom, Life, Malignant, Prisoner, Real

Forgiveness is God's invention for coming to terms with a world in which people are unfair to each other and hurt each other deeply. He began by forgiving us. And He invites us all to forgive each other.

Forgiveness, Hurt, People, Terms, World

Forgive a wife-slammer if you can. But you don't have to live with him. Forgive a husband who is abusing your children if you can. But only after you kick him out of the house. And if you can't get him out, get help. It's available. In the meantime, don't let him near the kids, and don't let anyone tell you that if you forgive him it means you have to stay with him. [There's an important difference between forgiving a person and tolerating their bad behavior. ]

Children, Forgiveness, Husband, Let, Meantime, Stay

The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. A person feels guilt because he did something wrong. A person feels shame because he is something wrong. We may feel guilty because we lied to our mother. We may feel shame because we are not the person our mother wanted us to be.

Differences, Lied, Lying, Mother, Person, Shame
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