Eugene Boris Mirman (born July 24, 1974) is a Russian-born American comedian and writer. Mirman is known for playing Yvgeny Mirminsky on Delocated, and voicing Gene Belcher on the animated comedy Bob's Burgers.
There was one woman who had a giant sign and on it, it just said, 'America Is Better Than Abortion. ' I think she meant that America was too good a place for the horror of abortion. But instead, it sounded like she had weighed both - the American spirit and getting an abortion and decided that American spirit better. I think it is a bad idea to have grammatically ambiguous protest signs.
I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.
Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?
Some tips for life: 1. Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2. Be kind to people. 3. Don't get too excited when you read the Fountainhead 4. In times of recession, it is time for invention. 5. Things can kill you, so keep that in mind, you fearless know it alls.
Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?
Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.
I can kill a dog in six ways. Five of them are throwing missiles at it.
I'm fascinated by the logic that leads to something.
Prom night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that popular kids do because they are boring people with porcelain hearts who don't know what it means to be lonely. But you're wrong. Prom is a chance for everyone to try oral sex. Go for it.
I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.
Never give in to peer pressure, especially if the peer is not attractive.
I forget, is freedom of speech when it's legal to say what you want or is it when it has no consequences for some reason?
People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?
I don't think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.
There's something therapeutic about connecting with an audience - when there's something really sort of odd or silly that you think is funny, and conveying it to an audience.
Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.
It's important to prepare audience for the worst in life. People come to forget their problems, and it's my job, right before I leave, to go, "Don't forget: You're going through a divorce and there's a recession. " It's always good to end on a pensive note.
Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.
Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.