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Guy Browning Biography

Guy Browning (born 1964 in Chipping Norton) is a humourist, after-dinner speaker and film director. He wrote the How To... column in The Guardian from 1999–2009. Before that he wrote about office politics and social climbing.

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Guy Browning Quotes

Men love women because they are the loveliest things on God's earth. Women love men because chocolate can't mow the lawn. Some men prefer to love other men. Equally, some women prefer to love other women. There is a word to describe this kind of behaviour. Love.

Behaviour, Chocolate, Describe, Equally, Loveliest, Men

Major cities are divided into two parts; the bits that are in the guidebook and the bits that aren't. If you don't take a guidebook, you'll see a different city.

Cities, Two, Different, See, Parts

Libraries are brothels for the mind. Which means that librarians are the madams, greeting punters, understanding their strange tastes and needs, and pimping their books.

Book, Mean, Understanding, Mind, Strange, Libraries

To turn ordinary clothes into gardening clothes, simply mix with compost.

Clothes, Gardening, Ordinary, Turn, Compost

People who get to the top of any organisation are generally dysfunctional human beings who are overachieving, overcompensating or overbearing.

People, Overbearing, Overcompensating, Organisation, Beings

What makes a date so dreadful is the weight of expectation attached to it. There is every chance that you may meet your soulmate, get married, have children and be buried side by side. There is an equal chance that the person you meet will look as if they've already been buried for some time.

Soulmate, Children, Expectations, Dreadful, Expectation, Married

As the world becomes ever more crowded, so folding will become ever more important.

Important, World, Folding, Crowded, Becomes

Never work for a company that says people are its most important asset. If you wanted to get a mortgage and you said that your only asset was people you would end up living in a tent.

People, Important, Tents, Company, Living, Tent

Growing up is when you understand you get what you give, not what you're given.

Growing Up, Giving, Growing, Given, Understand

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Guy Browning Biography

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