Top Joe E. Lewis Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Joe E. Lewis Biography

Joe E. Lewis (January 12, 1902 – June 4, 1971), born Joseph Klewan in New York City, was an American comedian and singer.

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Joe E. Lewis Quotes

We can afford almost any mistake once.

Mistake, Afford

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

80S, Funny, Golf, Low, Play

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

Custer, Gambling, General, Losing, Taken

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

Alcohol, Drunk, Pays, People

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

Funny, Like, Money, Nerves, Quiets

Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.

Believe, Boys, Money, Rich

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

Chasing, Girl, Girls, Remember

I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.

Alcohol, Doctors, Drinking, Drunks, Old

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

Alcohol, Bomb, Bombs, Noise, Stand, Take

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

Days, Diet, Drinking, Funny, Humor, Weeks

I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely.

Arrived, Gambling, Met, Track, Way

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U. S. Steel.

Baseball, Like, Rooting, Steel, Yankees

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

Friend, Friendship, Funny, Humor, Pest, Show

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

Doctors, Pep, Pills, Tired, Told

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

Gall, Glasses, Looked, Medicine, Needs, Stomach

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.

Alcohol, Dean, Drink, Martin, Men, Next

I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

Amount, Anymore, Drink, Same

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Alcohol, Drunk, Holding, Man, Men

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

Buy, Money, One Thing, Poverty

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.

Funny, Matter, Money, Poor, Rich, Rich Or Poor

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Joe E. Lewis Biography

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