Laura Kightlinger is an American actress, comedian and writer.
I get asked to do benefits a lot and I've decided I've got to be a bit more discerning, I can't just do all of them. . . . I got asked to do a benefit for babies born addicted to crack. And I said well, all right, I'll help you raise money for them, but I think we both know what they're gonna spend it on.
[On living in New York City:] I'm oblivious to everything. I just don't notice anything. I sat in a coffee shop, drank half a cup of coffee before I noticed there was lipstick on the cup. There was wadded-up gum and lipstick on the napkin. I must have been sitting on that woman's lap for an hour.
I slept with my mother until I was nine years old. It was OK for the first few years, and then I don't know what happened. I just couldn't do it anymore. I mean, sleeping with the same woman, night after night. Boring!
I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?
I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.
I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.
I love eating in it, brushing my teeth and swallowing the toothpaste in it. I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space.
I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.
We've all made mistakes that are similar in just trying to get by or make some money or feel good about ourselves.
I mean, sleeping with the same woman, night after night. Boring!
Women can really be who they are. I'm about to say the F word, feminist. Often that word has such a negative connotation.
Anything can happen with a razor.
I always feel like rejection is my petrol. That's what keeps me going.
Always keep your anger bottled up. You might need a bottle of anger some day when friends come by and won't leave.