Mason Cooley (1927 – July 25, 2002) was an American aphorist known for his witty aphorisms. One of these such aphorisms Cooley developed was "The time I kill is killing me."
The psychiatrist's office: the only place I can be sure my story will be treated as sad, but interesting.
To gain a reputation for virtue, grieve over those you injure.
When you feel protective toward your parents, you have become an adult.
The critical spirit never knows when to stop meddling.
Writing an upbeat aphorism is a temptation, but decorum forbids.
The critic roams through culture, looking for prey.
Abyss-mongering makes professors and poets feel daring.
The beginning, middle, and end are parodied, reversed, and hidden by modernism, but not abandoned.
Eccentricity is originality that leads nowhere.
To understand someone, find out how he spends his money.
As a youth, I sought out decadence; as an elder, I try to avoid decay.
I am no longer in love, but I still have my jealousy.
My obsessions used to be my protectors, but now they have taken me prisoner.
Too timid to talk back, I shot my adversary.
My mind no longer has romantic abysses, but has become shallow, with many little gaps and cracks.
The sacred is found boring by many who find the uncanny fascinating.
Modernized by tin roofs and T-shirts, Third World poverty is no longer picturesque.
The winner gives up his chance to be a good sport.
Maxims are sharp-edged half-truths.
No matter how close thought sticks to the actual, it follows its own rules.