Top Tucker Max Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Tucker Max Biography

Tucker Max (born September 27, 1975 in Atlanta, Georgia) is an American author and public speaker. He chronicles his drinking and sexual encounters in the form of short stories on his website TuckerMax.com, which has received millions of visitors since Max launched it as the result of a bet in 2000.

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Tucker Max Quotes

The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.

Hard Work, Nothing, Past, Rewarding, Smart, Whole

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

Gets, Make, Offended You, Trying, Upset

Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.

Academia, Fundamentally, Life, Needs, Plan, Postmodernism

I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there.

Book, Canada, Fans, Thousands, Tons

The haters always scream the loudest.

Funny, Hater, Haters, Loudest, Scream

I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.

Life, Live, People, Trying

I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.

Camelbak, Decision, Lull, Perfect, Potency, Taste

Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.

Distributor, Spend, Theatrical, Two, Variables

I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

Alcohol, Combining, Girl, God, Sex, Two

I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.

School, See, Smart, Stupid

Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?

Dolphins, Huge, Men, Talk, Whales

9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that.

Dollars, Giving, Menu, Point, Say, Want

I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

Tolstoy

I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.

Destroyer, Destroyers, Shiva, World, Worlds

My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: "Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?

Asking, Guy, Night, Wrote, Year, Years

Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to heaven is paved with good actions.

Action, Half, Heaven, Hell, Yes

Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.

Defense, Impotence, People, Psychological, Used

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.

People, Remember, Understand, Upset

Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.

Ifs, Obstacles, Opportunities, Opportunity, See

I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.

Book, Books, Fans, Hate, People, Sold

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