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So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.

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Jens Voigt

After 120 kilometers my body said, ‘ooh, ooh Jens! What were you thinking?’

120, Body, Said, Thinking
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When my legs hurt, I say: “Shut up legs! Do what I tell you to do!

Cycling, Hurt, Riding Your Bike, Shut, Tell

If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win.

Break, Definitely, Ifs, Win, Winning

Having things organized is for small-minded people. Genius controls chaos.

Chaos, Controls, Genius, Having, People

Hopefully I've shown them (fellow cyclists) you just need some self-belief and that you need to take your destiny into your own hands instead of waiting for it. You have to go out and force it. You need to go out and take life, and shape your life and destiny the way you need it. I hope I can pass that message along.

Cyclists, Destiny, Hands, Life, Self, Shown

I'd like to throw Betsey Andreu and Travis Tygart in a wood-chipper. That would be my idea of a good time. Maybe I could get George to come over and help me clean up after.

Andreu, Cycling, Ideas, Like, Tygart, Would Be
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