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I scored a 910 on my SAT. I didn't care about education. I don't know what I cared about.

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W. C. Fields

Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.

Advice, Count, Items, Might, Money, Suspect
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

Alcohol, Gambling, Half, Money, Women

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Case, Clever, Flagon, Funny, Small, Witty

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Circumstances, Inspirational, Money, Motivational, Say, Skill

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

Age, Away, Funny, Preservatives, Witty

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Funny, Goodness, Like, Sex, Things
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