Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live.
Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!
The average late-night viewer is in their mid-50s and the average viewer of TBS is in their 30s and is largely African-American and Hispanic, already, before I even get there.
I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.
Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.
[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell scary stories to your grandkids: "A long time ago when I was growing up, there used to be people who were white," and the kid says, "Really?" and you say, "Yeah, like the man who cuts our grass. "' I've had that line forever and I love it.
My grandmother instilled in me a toughness that comes with survival. She was a tough lady and never truly enjoyed her life. She would always worry about things and I would tell her that it wasn't going to get her anywhere and it didn't. I wasn't even that smart back then, but I knew that worrying about everyone else wasn't good for her health. As Latinos, we stress and worry so much about the future when the future is today. As long as we protect what's good in our lives, we will be all right.
I'm like everyone else in this stupid, bloody, amazing world. I'm flawed. Impossibly so. But hopeful. I'm still me.
A lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right and evil doesn't become good, just because it's accepted by a majority.
Either push your limits or die.
I never get embarrassed on stage. Never. Never, because if you fall right on your ass it doesn't matter. I've fallen over onstage numerous times, and you always just kind of go, "oh well" and get back up.