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If you educate women, family size tends to go down.

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Garry Shandling

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

Day, Marriage, Married, Say, Wife
Same Author Quotes

I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire. Me, me, me. ' You know. 'Help me, put me out. ' Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit?

Barbecue, Girl, Hair, Selfish, Think, Thinking

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

Finish, Guy, Guys, Know, Nice, Positive

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

Friends, Friendship, Funny Friend, Intimacy, Love You, Tell

I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like. "

Looks, Loyalty, Mom, Moms, Tastes

I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.

Dad, Exam, Nice, Remember, Wheel, Writing
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