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Sometimes when I visit schools, kids will interview me for the school newspaper. They ask me questions and my answers tend to go on and on, and they try to write down everything I'm saying as quickly as they can. And one day, a kid holds up her hand and said, 'Do you think you could just answer 'yes' or 'no?' Aren't kids wonderful?

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George Carlin

Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason

Age, Catholic, Humorous, Reached, Reason, Stupid People
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Life is sacred? Who said so, God? Hey, if you read history you'll realize that God is one of the leading causes of death. . . has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jews, all taking turns killing each other because God told them it was a good idea.

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To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn't need guidance from.

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Obviously, there are people who constrict themselves and build walls around themselves, whether it's from a moral standpoint or a patriotic standpoint, or just plain old conformity, and who therefore live in those little prisons, and when things breach those walls, it's shocking for them.

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People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.

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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.

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