Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
Hooray for most things!
I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
There are more fools in the world than there are people.
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.
I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners.
I find we are growing serious, and then we are in great danger of being dull.
Actually, I didn't say that.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
Stupid people are dangerous.
Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason
I'm not familiar precisely with what I said, but I'll stand by what I said, whatever it was.
A brainiac notices everything, an ignoramus comments about everything.
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
I'm allergic to stupidity.
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
I think the best answer is as little as possible.
I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love.