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If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. From my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you.

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Fred Allen

He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.

Anger, Argument, Chip, Use
Same Author Quotes

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Humorous, Imitation, Powerful, Sincerest, Television, Witty

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

Art, Gnats, Room, Seeds, Television, Two

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

Inspirational, Life, Motivational, Shredded, Wheat, Woke

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Easily, Funny, Understand, Write, Writing, Years

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.

Goal, Goals, Love, Partners, Shared, Stay Strong
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