Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will … - Joan Rivers

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That's why I have to be a fiction writer, because I can't remember what just happened or where I went last week or what movie I just watched with my husband. I'm better off just making things up.

Joan Rivers

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

125, Funny, Lucky, Old, Ones, Years

Same Author Quotes

With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.

Age, Boobs, Feminine, Memorable, Needs, Wisdom

Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

Card, Dress, Hands, Library, Looking, Men

I could never be in a cult. For starters, they never accessorize properly. David Koresh had no fashion sense, Jim Jones wore leisure suits, and I don't care how charismatic Osama bin Laden was, an AK-47 and an insulin drip do not take the place of drop earrings or a well-placed brooch.

Ak 47, Care, Earrings, Fashion, Sense, Suits

Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.

Buy, Hilarious, Pay, Plastic, Sailing

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep. '.

Birth, Daughter, Mother, Say, Sleep, Tell

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Harry Belafonte

In my earliest of years, my mother was a huge force in my life. She was for all intents and purposes, a single parent. My father had abandoned us. He was an alcoholic and a physical abuser. My mother lived through that tyranny and made her living as a domestic worker. She was uneducated but she brought high principles and decent values into our existence, and she set lofty goals for herself and for her children. We were forever inspired by her strength and by her resistance to racism and to fascism.

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Gerald Morris

Once she exclaimed, "But I always thought that sorceresses were evil!" "What do you mean 'evil'?" Lynet has never considered the question. "You know," she said, after a moment, "unfriendly to people. " "People!" repeated Morgana derisively. "As if humans were all that mattered. Just once I'd like to see people judged by how friendly they are to sorceresses.

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Bonnie Jo Campbell

That's why I have to be a fiction writer, because I can't remember what just happened or where I went last week or what movie I just watched with my husband. I'm better off just making things up.

Fiction, Happened, Husband, Lasts, Movie, Watched

Henry Lawson

Who says Australia offers not a home for every poor Englishman, or any other countryman that finds his way to our shores? And what sort of thanks do we get for it?

Australia, Home, Says, Sort, Way

Richard Schmid

I alone must solve my problem. I have to clear my mind of everything else, think hard, analyze, explore my options, plan a strategy for the immediate situation, and then do whatever it takes. Sometimes it means scraping off what I have done and starting over again and again.

Mean, Plan, Scraping, Starting, Starting Over, Thinking