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I went to Communism as one goes to a spring of fresh water, and I left Communism as one clambers out of a poisoned river strewn with the wreckage of flooded cities and the corpses of the drowned.

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Steve Harvey

Being on a comedy tour is like traveling with family, everyone is all having a great time. . . then all of a sudden it turns sour. One thing gets said out of turn, and everyone is on everyone's last nerve. After an hour of silence, we all start laughing about it.

Laughing, Nerves, Silence, Thing, Turn, Turns
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But remember what drives a man; real men do what they have to do to make sure their people are taken care of, clothed, housed, and reasonably sastisfied, and if they're doing anything less than that, they're not men.

Clothed, Drives, Man, Men, Real, Taken

Let him treat you like a lady and open the car door for you. If he doesn't automatically open the door for you, stand by the darn thing and don't get into the vehicle until he realises he needs to get hid behind out of the driver's seat and come round and open the car door for you. That's his job!

Car, Doors, Job, Jobs, Open, Seat

I'm here to tell you, though, ladies that the term "gold digger" is one of the traps we men set to keep you off our money trail; we created that term for you so that we can have all our money and still get everything we want from you without you asking for or expecting this very basic, instincual responsibility that men all over the world are obligated to assume and embrace. . . . KNOW THIS: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exhange for your time.

Assume, Embrace, Expecting, Gold, Men, Responsibility

a real man is happy and eager to live by your rules, as long as he knows what the rules are and he's sure that abiding by those rules will help keep the woman he loves happy

Abiding, Live, Love, Loves, Men, Real

You have nothing if you're texting a guy in a relationship. We can text six women a minute. We can text it and push 'reply all. ' I mean, since we're lying, we might as well lie to everybody.

Guy, Lying, Mean, Push, Texting
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