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They decided that all liars should be whipped. And a man came along and told them the truth. And they hanged him.

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Amy Sedaris

I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.

Cried, Feet, Hard, Men, Shoes
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Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

Girlfriend, Piece, Real, Women

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.

Pet, Losing, Sometimes, Love, Case

I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

Being Alone, Figure, Gives, Opportunity, Person, Thinking

It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.

Broken, Desires, Fire, Prison Time, Relationships, Suppress

I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.

Imagination, Hobbies, Use, Necessity, Crafts, Shops
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